Twice in One Lifetime
by Gerec
Summary: Written for this prompt: Charles and his fiance Steve, are happily waiting for their first baby. What they are not expecting is the baby to arrive almost a month earlier and looking like a miniature copy of Charles' ex-boyfriend Erik. Cherik, M/M, Mpreg. It takes Erik and Charles a lifetime to get it right.


**Author's Note:** Written for this prompt: _Charles and his fiance Steve, are happily waiting for their first baby. What they are not expecting is the baby to arrive almost a month earlier and looking like a miniature copy of Charles' ex-boyfriend Erik._

**For Warnings please scroll down to the bottom.**

Re: the mpreg: The whys and hows are not really addressed in this fic. Feel free to add your own A/O, mutation or other interpretation as you see fit!

* * *

Nobody notices the resemblance at first.

The baby is born a month earlier than expected, perfectly healthy and weighing in at a respectable 7 lbs 3 ounces. Charles is too exhausted and relieved and _thrilled_ to care about much more than the baby's ten long fingers, ten elegant toes and mop of reddish brown hair. His tiny face is all scrunched up, splotchy and pink and it's much too soon to tell if he'll look more like him or his fiancé.

To say that Steve is overjoyed is an understatement; he takes to fatherhood in the same way he takes on life in general, with relentless optimism and kindness and unending patience. When David wakes in the middle of the night, he rocks the baby in his arms, humming softly so Charles can get some much needed rest. He takes David everywhere – to the grocery store or a quick stop at the office – snuggled comfortably against his chest in a baby carrier. It warms Charles to the core to watch father and son bond so quickly and completely, this new life with David and Steve finally starting to mend his broken heart.

Raven is the first to comment, spending nearly as much time with her new nephew as the baby's parents.

"Charles, look. David's eyes aren't bright blue like yours anymore. See there's a hint of grey here."

"It's probably just the light Raven. He'll have Steve's eyes."

* * *

They throw him his first birthday party at the mansion, Charles and Steve both so proud and eager to share their happiness with friends and family. David spends much of it chasing (and being chased) by Hank and Sean and Alex, giggling as he darts from room to room, hiding behind the furniture.

Charles and Emma are looking over seating charts in his office, taking a break from the party to go over some details for the wedding. They've put it off long enough, Steve had insisted, and so Charles had finally agreed to set a date and make things official between them. They are just finalizing the last of the guest list when they see the boys and Raven dart past outside the window, David toddling after them with bits of cake smushed in one of his tiny hands.

"Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Emma. What?"

"It's just...for a moment there, his hair and the way he's laughing. David reminded me of...Erik."

"Eri...what? No he's the spitting image of Steve, Em. I don't why you would think otherwise."

"Hmm, I guess you're right. Probably just too much champagne. Now let's get this finished and move on to the menu."

* * *

Charles is sitting with David in the living room, building a tower of giant foam blocks when the door bell rings. He can't think who it could be that's visiting at this hour and he knows it's not Raven since she has a key and wouldn't think twice about walking in. Scooping David up off the floor – who's got a block in hand and chewing at one of the corners - Charles makes his way down the hall. He takes a quick look in the mirror on the way to make sure there's nothing stuck to his face or hair and then settles his son more comfortably in his arms before opening the door.

He's stunned to find Erik standing on his front step.

Erik, who blazed into his life like a comet, setting his heart on fire and then leaving it just as quickly.

Erik, who whispered promises in the dark, made him love desperately and recklessly.

"Hello Charles," his ex-lover says quietly before grey-blue eyes lock on David and he lets out a sharp breath in surprise.

"You...that's my son."

They stare at each other, both in shock, as Charles tries to process Erik's presence as well as his words. It takes a squeal of displeasure from David to pull him from his daze, little hands reaching for the foam block that's fallen on the ground and out of reach.

"He's...no," Charles bends down and grabs the block, never taking his eyes off the man in front of him. "He's mine and Steve's."

Erik's forehead wrinkles as he frowns, his face grimacing in a way that Charles had always found oddly endearing, "Steve who? Wait...you mean Steve _Rogers_?"

The incredulous tone in Erik's voice is enough to make him seethe with indignation. How dare he? How _dare_ he show up here nearly two years after disappearing with barely a goodbye and judge him? The fact that he's holding David in his arms, standing in his open doorway is the only thing keeping Charles from unleashing all of his pent-up fury.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" Erik asks, his tone soft and supplicating.

"I don't think..."

"Please. Please Charles."

* * *

Erik is standing in the middle of the living room when Charles returns from putting David to bed, looking lost in the glorious mess of toys and baby wipes and text books and sippy cups. He turns and watches as Charles stalks past him towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, and then takes the proffered glass without a word.

"Now," Charles downs half of his own drink before falling back onto the couch with a sigh. "Why are you here?"

He waits and watches as Erik stares and stares at him and then turns to take in the room at large, seemingly unsure where to start. His eyes land on the multitude of pictures over the fireplace, narrowing at the one of Steve and Charles with David taken at his birthday party. "You're certain...is there any chance that he's mine?"

_NO, no chance at all_ he wants to yell. Because Erik left nothing but a 'Dear Charles' letter for him to find. Because he hated himself for falling in love so quickly and so deeply. Because he wanted Erik to come back to him even after his lies and his abandonment.

Charles went to see his doctor a week after Erik left and got a complete physical; tested for everything from high blood pressure to STDs to pregnancy. When he received the clean bill of health a few days later he promptly hit the clubs and had sex with the first guy he picked up. His drinking and his one-night stands escalated over the next few weeks until finally, Steve intervened.

They had always been friends - good friends - and Steve hated seeing Charles wreck himself over Erik. He tried to be as supportive as he could, distracting Charles with trips to the art gallery showing his latest exhibit or to the movies for a couple of hours of mindless explosions.

And when Charles inevitably tried to seduce him, Steve resisted. He wasn't interested in taking advantage of his friend, because he cared about Charles more than he wanted to bed him. It was a good plan that fell apart completely the night of Raven's birthday party, a very drunk Charles riding an even drunker Steve on his bedroom floor.

A month later, he realized he was pregnant.

Two months later, Steve proposed.

Charles accepted a month before the baby was due.

Which turned out to be two days before David was born.

"No," Charles replies, his gaze steady and tone sharp, "no chance at all."

Erik emails a photo to Charles early the next day, though he doesn't bother to open it until he's finished teaching his last class of the day. It's a picture of a very young boy, standing in front of a birthday cake, his reddish brown hair streaked with icing. He's laughing and so happy in the arms of this mother and he looks enough like David to be his twin.

The attachment comes with a short note:

_This is me, on my first birthday. Are you sure?_

He picks up the phone and calls Steve.

It's not a conversation he wants to have long distance with his soon-to-be husband but Steve won't be back from London for another two weeks. So he takes a deep breath and dials the number and tries to explain this crazy, surreal, impossible situation.

When he's finished, Steve sighs softly and tells Charles he loves him and David and nothing will ever change that fact. And he doesn't need anyone to prove that David is his biologically because he's the boy's father and that will also never change. Charles is so relieved and grateful and so filled with love that his eyes well with tears.

He calls his doctor the next day to schedule a paternity test.

Because he knows in his heart that David is Steve's and not Erik's and he doesn't want there to be any doubts hanging over them. And then they can finally get married and get on with their lives and Charles can leave Erik in the past where he belongs.

The test comes back a week later. And Charles' whole world is turned upside down.

"Charles, I...I never stopped loving you. Is there any chance you..."

"No, Erik. No chance at all."

* * *

They get married on a sunny afternoon in June, outdoors on the immaculate mansion grounds. Steve and Charles walk down the aisle side by side with David between them, holding both of their hands and laughing at all the smiling faces. Surrounded by cheering friends and family they exchange vows to love and honor and cherish one another for the rest of their lives and it's the third happiest day of Charles' life.

An agreement between David's parents comes together quickly and easily, with all three men setting aside their differences to do right by their son. Erik has unlimited access and regularly scheduled visits with David, and both Charles and Steve agree to explain the entire situation to the boy when he's old enough to understand.

When Charles takes David upstairs for his nap, Steve takes the opportunity to speak candidly.

"I will never try to keep him from you," he says to Erik, ever earnest and direct. "He's your son too as much as he's ours and I'll never undermine or say anything against you to David. I think he's a lucky boy to have three parents who love him very much..."

"But..."

"Stay away from Charles, Erik. He's my husband and we love each other and I'm not going to let you hurt him again."

"I'm...I'm not going to hurt him. I swear."

* * *

David is five years old before Charles finally allows himself to hear Erik's explanation.

They've settled into a comfortable routine, seeing Erik more bearable now that the raw edge of hurt has mellowed over time to a dull ache. He watches with a small smile on his face as David runs into Erik's arms and giggles as he's lifted high into the air and spun around and around.

He's surprised when Erik asks him to stay for dinner and even more surprised when he accepts the invitation. Charles tells himself it's so he can spend more time with David and with Steve away showing his latest art exhibit what would be the point of eating alone? The evening is lovely, filled with easy conversation about David's school and Charles' students and Erik's work and when he checks his watch it's somehow already midnight and their son is fast asleep on the couch between them.

"I was scared. I was still wrestling with this side of me...that I liked men too and then you came along and I fell so hard so fast...I loved you Charles but I wasn't ready for what that meant."

"You ran because it was too much too soon."

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you how much I regret leaving the way I did. You didn't deserve...I owed you an explanation."

"You should have told me, Erik. I would have understood. I might have waited."

"I'm sorry, Charles."

"Me too."

* * *

Their relationship changes after that, the awkwardness slowly fading away and replaced by a tentative friendship. They share jokes and laugh more often and spend hours together playing chess and swapping stories. Steve never grows fonder of Erik's presence in Charles' life though he continues to be a solid supporter of their shared responsibilities as David's parents. It's a balance that works well for their strange little family and if occasionally, when Erik leans a little too close or his touch lingers a little too long and Charles' heart races just a little bit faster –

Well, Charles is happy with the way things are and there's really no reason for anything to change.

When David is eight years old, Erik meets Magda.

And Charles' whole world changes.

Magda is a brilliant, accomplished photojournalist well known for her stark, haunting depictions of war-torn landscapes and human devastation. Steve is the first to meet her, introduced by mutual friends in the New York art scene and before long the two become fast friends. He brings her to a family barbeque one hot August afternoon and by the end of the night, she and Erik have agreed to a first date.

It's a whirlwind romance between two beautiful, passionate people and Charles watches from the outside as Erik falls in love for the first time since the two of them came together all those years ago. He's happy for his ex-lover truly; they've come a long way and are best of friends and Charles wants Erik to find a lasting relationship like the one he shares with his own husband.

And when Erik tells him Magda is pregnant with twins and asks him to stand with him at their wedding, Charles only hesitates for a moment before he answers, "Of course my friend."

They get married at the courthouse on a chilly October morning, David the ring bearer with Charles and Steve as their witnesses. Magda is resplendent is a simple white slip dress, her belly round and face glowing and Erik is the happiest that Charles has seen him in years.

He finds himself reluctantly charmed by Magda over the years, until finally she is as dear to him as she has always been to Steve. It's difficult not to love a woman so kind and generous and with such a witty sense of humor and Charles feels a little like he's gained a second sister.

The two couples have become surprisingly close, bound together by their familial ties. Charles and Steve adore the twins as much as David and treat Wanda and Pietro as their own. Steve's wariness around Erik has also eased over the years and their new normal consists of joint date nights and shared babysitting duties.

All three kids are fast asleep and Charles and Magda are sitting in the backyard, enjoying a few glasses of wine and the cool summer breeze. Erik is away, spearheading a project at the LA branch of Stark Industries and Steve is in Asia this time, splitting his time between touring with his collection and painting.

Their conversation somehow comes around to their unique circumstances and Magda is the one to bring up his past with Erik.

"He told me, before we got married, that he'd always love you," she says with a wistful sigh. "And I thought he was being dramatic – I knew how much he loved me and with time, I was sure his feelings for you would change."

"Magda, I don't..."

She cuts him off with a wave of her hand, "I didn't understand before, but now I do. I see it. Steve does too you know. Your connection is still there after all these years."

"Erik and I would never do anything deliberately to hurt you two."

"I know," she laughs and her voice is like light and music. "I know that. And it makes me happy to know that Erik has you to love him and care for him even after all that's happened between you two. He doesn't have any family except for us and very few people he lets into his life and his heart."

Charles kisses her cheek and wraps an arm around her shoulder, tugging her close. "Erik's happiness means everything to me."

* * *

Magda dies six months later, killed by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan.

Charles and Steve are only slightly less devastated than Erik, all three men mourning the loss of the woman who has become their touchstone. At the funeral, Charles stands with his arms around the crying twins and Steve stands behind a silent David, solid and reassuring hand on the teen's shoulder. Erik stands alone in his grief, unwilling and unable to allow even the children to help ease his pain.

Steve and Raven and Hank take the kids to the mansion, leaving a stricken Charles to deal with a desolate Erik. For the most part Charles leaves the other man alone to grieve, only intruding to ensure that Erik picks at his food and takes the occasional shower to wash away the stench of alcohol and vomit. He does laundry, changes the sheets and stocks the fridge and despairs over Erik's fragile mental state.

Two weeks into their new routine Charles comes to his senses and decides that it's time to shake Erik from his stupor.

"Get up."

Erik doesn't answer; eyes closed to the world and doesn't move from his spot on the bed.

"You need to get up and go see the kids and bring Wanda and Pietro home. They need their father now more than ever and you need to pull yourself together. For them."

He reaches for Erik, climbing next to him on the bed and strokes his hair gently as he coaxes, "Darling you have to do this, please. For the children. For Magda."

Erik opens his eyes at Charles' words and the tears start to fall, fast and unending. "I can't do this."

"You can," Charles leans forward and kisses his forehead, gently, carefully. "You're the strongest man I know."

"I lose everyone I love. My parents, Magda...you." Erik's grip tightens around his arm and the pain in his eyes breaks Charles' heart in two. "The children...what if...I can't lose anybody else."

He pulls Erik into his arms and cradles him, comforting the man he realizes in this moment that he's never stopped loving with every part of him. "You won't lose them. And you still have me. You'll always have me."

And when Erik kisses him and proceeds to take him apart, sinking deep inside Charles and splitting him open he can only think that he's told them both the undeniable truth.

They fuck for hours, for days, their need for each other insatiable and all consuming. At times Erik holds him like a fragile thing, easing in and out of him so gently it makes Charles clench his thighs impatiently, desperate for more. Other times he is rough and brutal; savage thrusts and a bruising grip intent on devouring Charles whole. They are each other's morning, noon and night and nothing penetrates the reckless, frenzied haze of their love making.

Erik is still inside him, release wet and warm when Charles' cell phone rings with Steve's distinctive tone. He reaches to grab it off the night stand, heart pounding and gut clenching with guilt and shame as he scrambles to answer, "Hello?"

"Charles, how are you? How's Erik doing?"

"He's fine...better."

"Listen, everything's okay, don't panic but I wanted you guys to know that Pietro had an accident outside. He was trying to climb the gazebo and fell."

"Oh my god is he okay? Is he hurt?"

"Just a sprained ankle. He needs to stay off of it for a little while but he'll be fine, I promise. Just...tell Erik not to worry. Raven and I will take care of the kids. He should take as much time as he needs to sort things out."

"Alright, I'll tell him."

"I love you baby. I miss you."

"Steve...I miss you too."

* * *

They don't talk about it.

Their three day affair remains a secret between them, guilt and pain and the horror of betraying a spouse and a friend enough to drive a chasm in their tenuous relationship. If Steve notices the new found tension between his husband and Erik he doesn't mention it, his support as solid and unwavering as always.

Charles and David spend a lot of time with the twins, helping them cope with the loss of their beloved mother. It takes time and gentle patience and Charles couldn't be more proud of the love and attention David lavishes on his younger siblings. Slowly, oh so slowly as the children begin to heal, Wanda starts to come out her shell and Pietro too becomes less sullen and destructive. They're all so pleased with the children's progress that when it happens, the adults are completely blindsided.

When the twins turn seven, Charles and Steve and Erik throw them a party at the mansion, complete with clowns and ponies and a giant four tier birthday cake. Erik balks at the extravagance but Steve surprisingly is the one to insist and so their family and friends gather all together for the first time since Magda's death two years ago.

The twins drag Charles and David with them when it's time to cut the cake and both kids climb onto Charles' lap before they blow out the candles together and make their wish. Surrounded by smiling faces David asks Wanda what she and Pietro wished for and without hesitation she answers, "We wished for Charles to be our Papa too."

It hurts Erik to know that the children are unconsciously looking to replace Magda in their lives and yet there's a tiny, unspoken part of him that longs to have Charles by his side, as a partner and as a parent to all his kids. To be able to love him without shame and without restriction.

Charles is torn; a part of him is thrilled as he already loves the twins as though they were his own. The other part, with a voice that sounds suspiciously like Raven tells him not to be selfish. That the children can't get too attached because their situation is already complicated and Erik might resent Charles' place in the twin's lives.

Steve is the least surprised, his husband's importance to Erik and the children has always been painfully obvious to him. Less clear are Charles' feelings for Erik; he suspects that after all these years together, he still doesn't quite have all of Charles' heart.

When the twins turn eight, Erik moves his family to Los Angeles.

A year later, Steve files for divorce.

* * *

Charles realizes later that their marriage had been dying a slow death from the start, a decline so subtle that neither of them knew it was happening until it was too late to fix. They loved each other, of that he was certain but Charles never truly committed all of himself to Steve for the seventeen years they were married.

And Steve finally understood that he'd wanted something he could never have with Charles.

David takes the news of their split with a calm acceptance. He hugs them both, tells them they are wonderful parents and then helps Steve pack his things for his move to London. Later, when the townhouse is half empty and Charles sits by the fire nursing a bottle of whiskey, his son surprises him with a suggestion he never expected.

"You should go to him."

"To who?"

"Erik. And the twins. I'm leaving for university in a couple of months and I don't want you to be here by yourself."

"I'm fine David. I have your Aunt Raven and Uncle Hank and Emma and all our friends. And I have my students and Moira so you don't have to worry that I'll be alone."

"It's not just that, Dad. It's...well don't you think Erik's waited long enough?"

* * *

They see each other again at the Stark Industries holiday party in New York, almost nineteen years after Erik leaves Charles the first time.

Both Tony and Emma insist that he come for at least part of the evening, concerned with the hours he'd been putting in at the university and on his latest paper. Erik is the last person he expects to see walking towards him with a grin; as far as he knew the man was still working for Tony in LA.

"Charles."

"Hello Erik. How are you?"

"Good. Better. Now that you're here."

Erik takes his hand and guides him out of the massive ballroom, the two of them walking silently until they emerge outside by the covered garden. For a while, Erik just stares at him and then he grasps Charles' chin gently and pulls him into a lingering kiss.

"I have something I want to say to you," he murmurs softly against Charles' lips.

"What's that?"

"I love you, Charles. I think I've been in love with you since the first moment I saw you all those years ago, laughing with your friends at the bar. The six months we were together, every moment that I spent with you, getting to know you, making love to you – I remember every second of it. And I've lived the last nineteen years of my life, loving you, every moment of every day, knowing I'd missed my chance to be with you."

"Erik..."

"Charles, please," Erik pulls him close, cupping his face with both hands as he pleads, "won't you give me – give _us_ – another chance?"

_Oh god finally_, he thinks.

"Oh Darling," Charles laughs and throws his arms around the other man, breathless and giddy. "Yes. Yes! I think it's about time, don't you?"

* * *

Twenty years from the day they met, in a sunset ceremony on the beach, Charles Xavier marries Erik Lensherr with their children by their side.

END

* * *

**Warnings:** Infidelity, Character Death


End file.
